8 Tips For Success in Middle School

Many students find middle school is a time of change for them, but with the right tools and support from parents and teachers, they can thrive. Between cognitive changes, physical changes, social drama, and a newfound sense of independence, it’s a lot for our growing kids to handle.: Parents need to take a deep breath and enter middle school with open minds and open communication to help their children succeed. Here are tips for success in middle school and how you can support your child during this transitional time. To set them up for middle school success they need:

Teach Independence and Responsibility

There are several ways parents can partner with teachers and school staff to help students become more responsible during the middle school years.

1. Have high expectations but help students rise to them by allowing them to learn by making and growing through mistakes.
2. Do not bring student items to school. Help your child’s teachers teach responsibility. Do not bring lunches or missing assignments. Natural consequences help them learn faster than saving the day.
3. Home technology should be accessible. Remove cell phones from the bedrooms, especially at night. Work and charge gadgets together. Know your child’s usernames and passwords too.
4. When they succeed, let go. Step away when your middle schoolers show independence.

Time Management Skills

There is no time like the present to begin helping your child manage their time. Many parents focus on the outcomes of middle school: grades when they should focus on establishing processes that will build strong skills for future academic success.

One way to do this is to sit your child down and help them plan out their evening when they get home. When will they complete homework? When are their extracurricular activities? How will they plan their time? How will their schedule look different on the weekend compared to a school night?

Many parents plan this for their children and just “tell” them when they should be doing things. Ultimately, the goal should be that the student should have a say in the planning and execution of their schedule.

Organization

What helps your child track their homework assignments? Are they using a planner? What is the simplest tool that will keep them organized? Will a folder for each class be better, or will binders organized with tabs for each class be easier? Middle schoolers have more duties than elementary schoolers because they have more coursework and supplies.

Students must create a personal organizational system. Students need a planner or agenda with several classes and due dates (in middle school and beyond). Students should shop early for school supplies to assist with organization (dividers, binders, highlighters, sticky notes, etc.) Coming from elementary school and transitioning to middle school, it may take a year to figure out what works for them best when it comes to organization.

Growth Mindset

A growth mindset is a belief that we can improve our basic skills through hard work. Natural talents are just the beginning! However, students often think, “I’m not as smart” or “___ is just more gifted than I am.” Mistakes and failures cause these feelings, so we must teach our kids that success requires self-doubt and imperfection. Encouraging your middle schooler to accept mistakes as part of the journey will help them accept imperfection.

Study Skills

Students often waste time studying unimportant or already-known material. For better studying, have your child create a study guide and color code it according to 1) what they know and feel comfortable with, 2) what they don’t know well, and 3) what they don’t know at all (using a separate color for each level). This exercise will show which areas need study time versus those they’re already comfortable with. Better than binge-reading 2 textbook chapters? This also helps in time management and helps your child to work smarter not harder.

Self Awareness

You can help children develop self-awareness (metacognition) as they mature. Help your child reflect on their daily routines while doing them and afterward to understand their thinking process and problem-solve better. Instead of telling them what to do, you can help them understand themselves and their needs and act accordingly (with your guidance, of course). This type of side-by-side guidance keeps communication open and help’s middle school students to grow socially, emotionally, and academically.

Conflict vs. Bullying

New friends and cell phones will be a struggle in middle school. Nobody gets through middle school without friendship frenzies.

There is a difference between conflict and bullying.

Conflict involves opposing viewpoints.

Bullying is abusive behavior by someone in power.

Bullying occurs when someone uses their “power” to harass another person. Targeted individuals suffer physical or emotional harm and struggle to stop it.

Children self-regulate during conflict. They react to crossed lines by reading cues. Empathetic kids realize they hurt someone and want to change. However, children who intentionally hurt others and go beyond normal conflict will continue their behavior even though they know it hurts.

The Magic of Sleep and Good Food

Do not underestimate the need for a good night’s sleep for a growing middle school student and the relationship to their attitude and school performance. A pre teen sleeps 7–7 1/4 hours on average. But most pre teens need 9 hours and 15 minutes of sleep.

After puberty, a middle schooler’s internal clock moves ahead by two hours, making it impossible for them to go to sleep before 11:00 PM. Lack of sleep can make them moody, irritable, and cranky. They will also have trouble regulating their moods, becoming more frustrated or upset. Sleep deprivation impairs educational skills like attention, memory, decision-making, reaction time, and creativity.

The elementary-to-middle school transition is the biggest in K–12. There needs to be a balance between parental involvement and middle school student independence. Middle school students will have bumps along the way, so touching base with teachers on a regular basis with parent-teacher conferences or parent meetings will help open communication. Staying involved in your child’s academic life helps you foresee problems and assist them to cope while encouraging a growth mindset.  Your ultimate goal is not just a successful middle school student but a lifelong learner that is independent, well-adjusted, responsible, and ready for the next step.