7 Ways To Promote A Positive Body Image For Your Daughter

“A mother is the first mirror in which a daughter sees herself.” ~Nik Bowers

As a mother, it is important to promote a positive body image for your daughter. You are the first reflection in which she sees herself. This means teaching her how to love and appreciate her body, no matter what size or shape she is. It can be difficult to do this in today’s society, where social media and the fashion industry often present an unrealistic standard of beauty. But it is not impossible!

According to Polaris Teen Center Statistics, by age 17, 89% of girls have dieted, and 69% of females (ages 10 to 18) state that photographs of models and celebrities in the media motivated their “ideal” body shape. Many girls and women have disordered eating that can develop into eating disorders over time.

Most articles will give you generic ideas. For example, “Do not compare yourself to other people” or “have positive thoughts about your body size.” In this blog post, I will give you seven activities and the kinds of conversations that you can have with your daughter to help her develop a healthy and positive body image.

What is a “positive body image”?

Positive body image means loving and appreciating your body, regardless of size or shape. It involves not comparing your body to others’. Positive body image means being comfortable in your own skin.

One of the best tips for how to improve body image is to start seeing your body in a positive light, instead of negative thoughts. Every person’s body has incredible capabilities, even if you feel limited by it at times. How positive is your body image?

How would you describe your body?

Would your daughter say that you love your body? If you do not love your body, she will not either. It starts by modeling the language of radical acceptance you want your daughter to use about her own body.

Celebrate the positives of what your body can do

Life is only a collection of still images on social media. Our bodies are made to do things. Celebrate what has to happen for us to be able to do the things we want to do

• “I love how my legs help me ride my horse. They have to be strong!”
• “My brain helped me to ace that test!”
• “My arms are strong because I can serve the volleyball over the net!”

Call out the photoshopping and filters that create unrealistic body images

• Scroll through her social media as a friend would without peer pressure.
• Ask her, “What do you see?” Help her be aware of the unrealistic body ideals that social media fuels.
• Tell her what you see without JUDGEMENT.
• Discuss filters/photoshop/angles
• Check out @danamercer on Instagram. She shows all of the ways influencers hide the real.
• Ask, “Do you think filters can affect how you see yourself in a certain way?”
• “When you get off of social media, do you feel confident or worse about yourself?”
• “Is there such a thing as a perfect body?”
• “Is there a way we can clean up your feed?”

Scroll through social media with her and look for authenticity in posts

Once you see the fakeness of social media images, you can also look for the good.  What accounts are healthy to follow and why?  Choose some accounts together that promote a positive body image to follow and then discuss the difference between the two different types of accounts.  

Take a video of your daughter doing normal things and things she loves

Ask her, “What positive things do you see in this?” She may not see anything at first. Help her to see how her body moves in physical activity and what is needed to do all of the things necessary to live a full and healthy life. She may say negative things at first but help her to look for the good. We live our lives in motion. Life is not staged or filtered.

Make a list of all the things you both love about yourselves that are not about your body image

“I am…” begin with this statement then finish it with a list of at least 5 things. This may make feel uncomfortable. The diet industry thrives on social pressure, convincing young people that their self-worth is dependent on their appearance. The diet industry thrives on social pressure young people to feel bad about themselves and convincing them their self-worth is tied to appearance. You may have to model this with your own list.

Smart. Funny. Silly. Creative. Bold. Courageous. Sometimes Messy. Clumsy. One of a kind. Unique. Graceful. Wild. Spunky. Funky. etc

Put this list where you can see it and refer back to it weekly or when she is having a bad day.

Do not assign “good” or “bad” labels to food

Do not assign moral value to food. Food isn’t “good” or “bad”, especially in the realm of how it will make you look. Most people DO NOT eat a diet that is filled with adequate protein. Eating protein at every meal will help girls stay fuller longer. This also helps people not to binge. Moderation and variety are key.

Grow a positive body image together

A negative body image can lead to body image distortion. A change in mindset takes time and practice but improving body image issues will also improve self-esteem.

As you complete these activities together, you need to have a consistent lens of growth, not perfection.  Maybe you discovered that you, as a mom, really need to work on different areas to change your mindset.  As a mom, you can say, “We may need to focus on the positives more often. Let’s make sure we look for the good first and not just jump to the bad.” The ultimate goal is for you and your daughter to develop a healthy relationship with your body image.